There's not very long until Christmas and that, unfortunately, means there's not very long until the now-standard 'Secret Santa' game takes over the office.
Such affairs can be riddled with tension; what gift do you buy someone you don't care enough about to waste your hard-earned money on without looking like you went to the nearest petrol station on your way into work that morning?
I'll be steering clear of too many recommendations because every firm and individual is individual, although I have included a couple examples.
Part 1 - The Male
Buying for a man is less of a sensitive issue than buying for a woman; firstly, it's never the wrong time of the month. Secondly, and more importantly, poking fun at a man is always more fun than with a woman - although that may have something to do with the first reason for men being easier customers. I've split this into categories after the jump:
The recluse:
Ended up with the reclusive type? No need to fret, just remember to go easy on the banter, heavy in consideration. If he's new, buy something which might be useful for the job so it looks like you're encouraging his success; if he's been around for a while and you have an idea of what he might like that always helps, but remember to buy something they might like.
If you have a heart, maybe write a nice message too; they'll figure out who it was eventually and it makes it look like you care. A colleague who likes you enough to do you a favour will come in handy at some point.
The friend or the office crumpet:
Two very different subjects, but the rules for both are similar. The one condition is that the rest of the office needs to know that you're either best friends with them or have a crush on them (boyfriends count here, too). If everyone knows the deal, nothing is out of bounds; your best friend dress like a tramp? Buy him a sleeping bag and a copy of the Big Issue (helping people who are actually homeless is a nice incentive).
The boy you've got a crush on a bit hairy? Buy him some tweezers and something suggestive, but keep it funny or he'll run for the hills. Everybody likes a flirt, nobody likes a stalker.
The 'Casanova':
At least that's what they call themselves; you know the type - a little too grabby if you're a woman and a little too bullshitty if you're a man (so full of shit you have to actually make up words to describe them).
There are two ways to deal with this man, both involving a laugh at his expense; it's alright though, we all hate this guy and he secretly probably hates himself too. If he doesn't, he should.
Method 1: Point out how much this guy disgusts you and how he needs to mend his vile ways. Self-help books might do the trick; the book itself doesn't need to be any good, as long as the title makes people laugh when they see it. That title should obviously relate to his character flaw so everybody understands and can have a chuckle at him too.
Method 2: Get him something from the petrol station. Make sure it's the most useless, pointless crap you can find. Like a funnel.
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